Notice
by Cereal-Killa
Summary: Notice: all lies are based on truth.


**Notice**

"Tomorrow?"

_No good, no good. Important things going on. Can't reach you yet._

Notice how liars don't talk in complete sentences. They want to get it out ASAP and their urgency to let you go is evident. Your words just don't seem to be as much of an importance anymore. They don't make a pause because lies over-lap everything. They spill off the tongue and make your heart beat faster, but only the liar knows. Only the liar knows how it's like running a race you can't let anyone know you're a part of. The more you drag on, the more agitated the liar is gonna be. And you have to understand that your questions that could make their heart stop before all the lies don't cost a nickel anymore. They are a coin tossed in the fountain, more for show than for anything else, a barrier that makes it hard to tell anything apart from lying and just acting normal.

I am tired and raggedy from helping him back up and scared that he's about to tear me down.

'Why do you seem so busy ALL the time?"

_Why can't you shut the fuck up? You're just always not giving me time. I can't be with you all the damn time._

Notice the temper. It's short and ignited with curses. Liars think cursing make them sound more realistic, more tired and less liar. But all it does is make them seem defensive. They block you out in the best way they can. That's accusing you of a wrong to change the subject. You just have to remember that, no matter what they say, fight back. Because a liar always gives up too soon. They always do. Self esteem is never in check for a lair, because well, you don't trust yourself.

Is that what it means?

"Why are you getting angry so easily?"

_Because you piss me off. You piss me off._

As I said, they try to turn around the subject.

"Just tell me. I won't cry or anything stupid like that."

_Let's just stop talking right now. OK? You don't need to get hurt again._

He's always acting as though I was the one who got hurt all those times. It makes me sick. It makes me wonder if he ever really realized I broke off my old relationship, that I told the guy who only loved me with everything he had that I didn't need him.

**She** dumped him. I knew what I was. I was a rebound. For awhile I was OK with that, because I thought he needed somebody. Because he wasn't a liar then. He was good, a let-down superhero, and now he's back to where he started. I'm not the one who's hurt. He is.

"Listen... I...I don't care who she is, and I don't fucking care if you guys have had sex. You're going through a rough patch, and I forgive you."

A liar always gives up too soon.

_You will fucking care. You'll be hurt when I tell you I love her._

In my heart, I prayed that maybe he wasn't talking about her. Not her. Not again. He said that he would love her forever, but... I always thought he would love me more.

"Not her."

_See? You think you're so damn strong, but you're weak like the rest of us. You give into temptation. You lie. You cry even if you think no one can hear you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm weak, but don't try to fool yourself into thinking it makes you any bigger. _

No. NO. I knew my place, and that was better than a cheater, than a liar. She was just a girl who hurt him, and I was the one who helped him back up on his feet.

"She's no better than me. You're no better than me and you know it. Quit trying to convince me otherwise."

_OK. But I'm not going to sit and watch you lie to your god damn self._

Lairs always head for the door. They walk away from you as though their better, and I'm starting to question if maybe he is. Maybe he was. Maybe he was. And maybe I was stuck on the wrong things. I'm not the liar. I'm the one who's mad and hurt and angry and... I'm not. Right?

_You know... you did help me. But I can't really say I was ever in love with you. You helped me through those nights when I was scared of never seeing her again, and I'm sorry I used you. But I was lying to myself and trying to convince myself I loved you. But I don't. I just don't. And I'm sorry._

Liars are liars, but what am I? His words make no sense to yet they mean so much more. A liar has to tell the truth sometime to someone, to themselves. Does the lie sound as bad in their head as it does out loud? Does it sound better if it's stuffed up in your mind and never thought about, a back thought, a guilty one that you can live with? Do lies not only control us, do they also define us, the way we act, they way we can't let go of things that we've convinced ourselves were over a long time ago? Do we lie to ourselves; hide our shame in our pockets when we know it's like a cigarette for a nicotine addict? When you want it so bad, it's so bad for you, but a pleasure is a pleasure, whether guilty or not. I'm afraid that lies aren't always lies, that truths are what are tearing me apart. I am a liar. I don't trust anyone.

Not even the person I depend on all the time. The person who is supposed to be strong, never to cry.

What happens when that person is me?

_But she means more to me than you'll ever mean. I'm sorry._

Notice: all lies are based on truth.

A/N: Take that anyway you want to. :) Hell yeah.

So, as for the people who are gonna get all pissed because I didn't include names: Gwen talking to Duncan. I like to think that he will always be a cheater who will never know what he wants. Asshole.

I actually found this on the depths of an old flash drive! I love it… I really wonder what other site I put it on. Weird. I need to start keeping track of this stuff.

Also, I really don't intend for this to be D/C, though that's how it turned out. I just see Gwen and Courtney as two pieces on a game board, and I'm sorry, but Duncan is playing both of them. No hate toward either of them, but if you date a guy who cheated on his girl, sooner or later someone else is gonna date that same guy- and he's still gonna be cheating on his girl.

So sort for the rant, homies! *puts up gang sign*

Thanks for reading! :D


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